I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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