dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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