He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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