i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
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you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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