How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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