Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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