Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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