i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize