I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've blown a few things in my day
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize