So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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