know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
