I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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