Im at strip club and am horny
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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