I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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