I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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