Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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