I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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