Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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