i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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