Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
