Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think a kid would responsible me up
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
