just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
