Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
