More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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