He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
