Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
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I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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