i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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