I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
