its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize