Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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