man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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