I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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