i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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