just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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