The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
