I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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