Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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