we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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