How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Is Oprah even human
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