He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
