You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
