I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
