Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
