we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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