im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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