apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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