Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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