i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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