I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Rumble strips road head = magical
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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