Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
