I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
