singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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