So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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