I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my liver is dry heaving
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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