you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
