I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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