I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
