We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
