I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
