We're like a lot better than the average bears
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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