Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
