You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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