just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
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At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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