Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
