return my video game
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
