is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
